My Testimony

Last week was Fast Sunday (the first Sunday of every month).  Every Fast Sunday, LDS church members get the opportunity to bear our testimonies in order to strengthen our own and others' faith.  I've always had a hard time talking in front of people, so naturally I don't take the chance as often as I should (or ever...) and it always bothers me.  So I'm going to use the power of the written word to share what I believe with you.

Growing Up

My very first memory is the first time I got stung by a bee.  I was sitting by our flower bed in the front yard of our gray two-story house, and wandering among the petunias was a strange small creature with pretty black and yellow stripes.  I stared at it in fascination.  I remember reaching out to touch it--it looked fuzzy--and the next thing I remember is blinding pain.  I can't remember which finger was stung, but I was horrified at the red dot on it as my mom held me and calmed me down.  One of her friends was there.

Here's a piece of my soul...do with it what you will.

I always wondered why there are so many sad songs about summer.  Summer should be a time for happiness and celebration.  And all that happiness shouldn't have to end just because leaves start changing colors (I always enjoyed autumn myself...).

One good thing about my job:

I get LOTS of thinking time.


I'm usually plugged in to my cheap, beloved little scratched-up Coby mp3 player while I'm endlessly pulling up weeds and shoots of crabgrass, but every so often I turn it off--probably because someone calls me about something--and once I'm done, I just don't feel like turning it back on again.  It's easy to forget how peaceful it is to sit in slightly-wet grass, run your fingers through the dirt, and just...breathe.  We live in such a beautiful world, and at times like these I never feel the Spirit more than when all my distractions are gone.

It's coming.

Tomorrow.

I will board a train.

Until we meet again

on a long dark staircase

she  pausesforbreath,  white-knuckled

grip on the mahogany banister
a rainstorm escapes from her eyes

in the next room

he waits in velvet, his silent

mouth  g a p i n g  at his Sunday best
a glowing hand has taken him away

It's a good thing I won't be here for long!

It's amazing how your social life spins in clockwise/counter-clockwise (depending on your location) circles right down the drain when you have a full-time job.  It's also amazing how many reminders you can find at said job of why you're making efforts to do something meaningful with your life.

On a happier note...

Exhilarating, isn't it?

That moment when someone decides to trust you with something deep inside him/her, and you realize that there's an actual person underneath all the superficiality of a somewhat unusual friendship?

Summer.

The season is constantly yearned for and romaticized (especially, I'm now noticing, by Dashboard Confessional).  The word calls up images of sand, sea, and dancing multi-colored driftwood flames.

This is a time to play like there's no tomorrow, work like there's no secret college money hidden away somewhere, and search endlessly for ways to keep out idle thoughts.  The whole season is one three-month-long distraction from reality.  It's certainly the greatest thing since sliced bread, though spare time isn't always a friend for some.

On the bright side, I've been a very busy bee for the last month and a half.  I've spent way too much time online, watched lots of movies, started a job, ended a job, crawled through Anasazi ruins, climbed over mountains of sandstone, and practiced answering the question, "I don't know, what do you wanna do?" with increasing creativity.

I'm so nervous for this next school year.  I still don't know where I'll live, and I haven't registered for classes.  I'm a very talented procrastinator, so getting myself ready to dive headfirst into the bedlam of college life is going to be a long and complicated process....

On the bright side, today is a WONDERFUL day.  Why, dear reader(s)?  Because as soon as the mailman arrives at my mailbox, I will run wildly across my driveway to recieve my preordered All Thing Bright and Beautiful Owl City cd!!!!!  I think it will match my concert ticket perfectly.  I've been waiting for both of these things for a long time (I preordered the cd in March), and it'll be nice to finally get one of them (the concert isn't until July).

http://www.youtube.com/user/owlcity#p/u

Big Things

Something big has happened....  My mind is still reeling at the intensity and finality of it.